Over the years I’ve noticed that there are 2 simple and basic requirements to a successful relationship. The first requirement is to pick well, the second is to nurture your relationship well from there. If you have picked well, the other person will most likely nurture you well in return. Implied in this rule of thumb is that when you do not pick well—when you pick a person with notable character flaws, problems, or issues, your efforts to keep the relationship healthy, happy, and committed will only go so far. Eventually the other person will need to give and make efforts towards the relationship as well. So, if/when they do not, your best efforts will only keep the relationship going for so long before it will fall apart. So, picking well—your choice of who to date and marry—is a simple requirement. However, I never said it is an easy requirement. In fact, many if not most people find that picking a good quality, high character person that will treat them well and stay committed to them can be quite a challenge. Especially since most people try to put their best foot forward while dating. How can you differentiate a truly good pick from a person only masquerading as a good pick? Easier said than done. This little article will give you a few ideas, recommendations, and suggestions. After that it is up to you. Good luck! Suggestions for Picking Well: *Get the power of discernment: this simply means having the Spirit with you AND asking key, specific questions in prayer about this person for clarification and direction. First of all, to have the Spirit with you, you must be worthy in all main ways to have it. Clear up whatever you need to clear up with the bishop. Ask for forgiveness for all of the sins that you can think of that need to be repented of, big and little. Pray to have the Spirit. And then make good choices from there (meaning, “forsake your sins”). Once you have the Spirit, pray often and specifically about your dating prospects and relationships. Ask questions, go quiet and patiently listen, and become familiar with the feelings of the Spirit that will give you direction and clarity from there. Two scriptures give good clarity to help you get the power of discernment with your dating and relationship choices. This scripture on the “fruits of the Spirit” clarifies the types of feelings people have when they possess the Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance…”. –Galatians 5:22-23.
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