A note from Caroline on the following blog: as a moderate feminist, I don't agree with the anti-feminist message but I do firmly and passionately believe society needs to move past objectifying women. In fact, I believe that idea is entirely feminist. Anyway, otherwise enjoy.
There is a YouTube channel called “Better Bachelor." On this video channel, a guy nicknamed “Joker” talks about the various challenges of dating, marriage, and relationships today from the rarely given perspective of men. This channel may be more slanted or edgy than some would care for, so know that if you choose to watch any of these videos. However, some important messages are often shared on these videos that have caught my attention and have paralleled real-life issues I’ve seen repetitively in the therapy office. One particularly disturbing idea he often discusses is this basic modern trend: today, girls and women are largely taught that the only main contribution they need to offer in a relationship and marriage is to just…show up and look good. The man is basically expected to give and do the rest: be nice, interesting, giving, patient, a good communicator, and listener, be entertaining, provide money, and so on.
Now, I know that this idea and attitude towards relationships only relates to some women in the church. However, I have heard some of these ideas and attitudes creeping into church relationships and marriages which concerns me. For those women who are truly giving, caring, and others oriented, you are the exception and have not bought into this media and feminist-driven trend. Thank you. But for those who have adopted some of these modern ideas (“I basically just need to show up and look good, and then expect him to make all of the main efforts from there”), I would encourage you to move away from those attitudes and become more giving again in relationships. When both sides give a lot to the relationship and both work hard to treat each other well, the relationship has a much better chance to succeed. But when only one side is really working, giving, or accommodating, problems will follow. There still are and always will be problematic men who treat women badly. True. However, the focus of this article is to challenge the worldly idea some women have bought into that the man is expected to give much more than her and that she is entitled to this. Again, this is a modern feminist/media-driven idea and attitude, not a Godly approach.
Read more about problematic messages to women here.
