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Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs)

One reality of dating and relationships today for single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is this: if you are going to date and hopefully marry an active, solid member of the church, you may have to participate in a long-distance relationship (aka LDR). Why? Because either you live in an area with few active single members or you have a decent amount of members around you but just need fresh, new options. Everyone suddenly has a much bigger pool of dating options when they open themselves up to long-distance relationships, usually with the help of online dating sites or apps. This article will review some ideas and suggestions to make your LDR work and be successful.

Tips for your LDRs:

*Decide how big you will cast your net. How far out are you willing to date? 100 miles? 1000 miles? Anywhere in the country? Overseas? Figure out what you could reasonably do distance-wise in a long-distance relationship. Consider time, money, travel options, time zones, and so on. The bigger the area you give yourself, the more potential dating partners you can have. However, the bigger your dating area, the more it will also require of your personal resources to make it work and keep it going. So, it is a balancing act and a judgment call.

*Figure out your budget. How much money do you have to reasonably invest in a LDR? Consider long distance dating like a monthly bill. Figure out how much you can reasonably pay towards everything needed for such a relationship: plane flights, gas and car maintenance, hotel rooms, rental cars, and the dating outings themselves. If you can manage to earn more than you spend each month in your dating budget, you will build a surplus and be fine. However, if you spend more than you take in, you will soon be stretched thin and in trouble.

*Consider your time: dating in general can be considered a 7 day a week, part-time job. How much time can you devote to calls, texts, and video chats each day? And how often can you take some time off from work to meet up with someone? A good rule of thumb for a LDR: aim to see each other physically at least once a month if possible. Depending on money and the work vacation days you possess, couples will decide whether one person will do most of the traveling or whether they can rotate traveling to the other person every other time.

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