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Overcoming Selfishness

To be “selfish” is to be overly focused on one’s own wants, needs, feelings, and desires, regardless of how such actions or attitudes may harm or effect another. To be selfish is to do what we feel like doing and not doing what we don’t feel like doing—without consideration for other people taken into account. Therefore, it is no surprise that selfishness erodes and can eventually destroy relationships and marriages.

President Gordon B. Hinkley has emphasized fidelity in marriage and well as a giving orientation as opposed to selfish choices. That the marriage should be the priority over everything else. He stated that: “When the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving.…The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.… Marriage presupposes total allegiance and total fidelity. Each spouse takes the partner with the understanding that he or she gives totally to the spouse all the heart, strength, loyalty, honor, and affection, with all dignity. Any divergence is sin; any sharing of the heart is transgression. As we should have ‘an eye single to the glory of God,’ so should we have an eye, an ear, a heart single to the marriage and the spouse and family” (Faith Precedes the Miracle [1972], 142–43).

Furthermore, President Hinckley also taught: “When you are married, be fiercely loyal one to an