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The Main Thing Women Want


In one of my first articles for LDS Dimension/LDS Dating, I wrote an article titled, “What Women Want." This information and these ideas were based upon a combination of my training, education, and clinical experience as a psychologist with women, men, and couples. I’m sure my own personal experiences added to these ideas as well. In that original article, I stated that the main thing women want and need in a relationship—in my understanding/opinion—is “to be the number 1 priority over other people, interests, and obligations”. In short, women want to be #1 in general, period. In my years of experience, I have never seen anything different than this idea reveal itself on the subject over time and across situations, although there are many different ways to say essentially this same idea and concept. For instance, a woman saying things like that “she just wants to be loved, cherished, cared for”, etc., are still all different ways of saying the same idea that she wants to be number 1, and that others aren’t to be put above her if she is going to be happy.


Occasionally (although rarely) over the years when this #1 priority theory has come out in my sessions, I have had some women want to dispute the idea. Perhaps saying such a bold statement that women want to be #1 that bluntly may feel a bit much for some. Still, when I then ask who she would be OK being over her as his top priority—perhaps his mother, sister, or daughter—women then ultimately agree with my original assertion. They may just reframe the same idea in different words, but the idea is essentially the same.